Why, O Why?

So, I am not sure what my real deal is. I have been frustrating myself so much lately. I really want to change. I want to be more optimistic, more spunky, perky, full of faith! Why do I let Satan control my thoughts and turn everything negative?? WHat does it say in Ephesians? For god hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of a sound mind?..... So if god does not give it to us who does? I know the answer to that question, at least. I know my potential, I really do. I see others in leadership and succeeding and I think, what seperates me from them? nothing! It is making up your mind to do something and doing it, not giving up, being consistent, and making alot of mistakes along the way. So maybe its laziness and lack of motivation? Possibly, but more than ever I think Its just DOING it! Something has got to change, and it has to happen soon!!! Pray for me please!